Church Lady Potluck Dinner
A Return to Casseroles, Crockpots, and Community
Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and know the other. —David Spangler—
A few years ago, I found myself leading a small group at my church, even though I’d never belonged to a small group. I had safely hidden myself in the large group gatherings for women, and branched out into varied smaller groups during each session; engaging with other women in my church of about 1200 but never really fully knowing anyone or allowing anyone to fully know me. I already had friends, close friends, long lasting friendships, so no thank you, I don’t need to build any new friendships within the church. God saw my resistance and allowed me to hide out for awhile, but then He doubled down: “You don’t want to join one? Fine. You will lead one.”
Of course, I was terrified and felt inadequate leading up to the first session I hosted in my home. The litany of what ifs ran through my mind on a continuous loop; what made me qualified to lead a small group and who would want to be led be me? But instead of focusing all the things I didn’t know, I focused on the thing I did know how to do: invite people into my home and make them feel welcome. I learned that act of hospitality was the most important part of building the framework for a community that would last for more than one session.
Over the past few years, we have met in my home and in the homes of each of our members. In spending so much time together, we created a safe community where we all are encouraged to be our real, authentic selves; where you show up as you are on the outside and the inside, because it is a no judgement zone. We share our worst days along with our best days; there are times we laugh together and times we cry together. None of us has all the answers to life’s ups and downs, but we have come to know that it isn’t really the answers we need for comfort, but more so the reassurance that we are not alone. There is always a kind heart and eager ear standing by to carry any burden and celebrate any victory.
And there is always food.
Last summer we added a sunset pontoon ride as an annual tradition, and this summer I requested we start an annual Church Lady Potluck Dinner. However, the theme of this potluck was to bring classic dishes that you remembered from those potlucks of the past, those dishes that filled all the old school church lady cookbooks, and used to fill your Grandmother’ crockpots and Tupperware. Casseroles with noodles, cheeses, canned soup, and a protein; Tupperware containers of salads highlighting jello in some unconceivable way; vegetables in the most adorned ways possible. The days before everything Keto-Friendly, Low-Carb, Dairy-Free, and Gluten-Free. Instead, an homage to the days when Ritz crackers and cream cheese could make anything taste scrumptious.
Our gracious host, Hillary, surprised us with a beautifully set table using pieces she had inherited from her Mom and Grandmothers. Plus, she put her own crafting talent to use in making napkins, table decor, and favors. We all caught our breath when we walked into her woodshop; we knew our Hillary was crafty and her attention to detail was one of her greatest strengths, and we felt honored to be recipients of it on this night. That’s another benefit of being in this group: everyone uses their talents and giftings to bless each other.
At first when I sat down to work on this piece, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t take more photos-especially of the food. But it wasn’t unfortunate. We were focused on the moment, of being together, conversing over a meal. Our phones sat unused. The intent of the gathering wasn’t to take photos for a future use or to share with others, but to gather together to continue building our bonds of community.
And eat food.
To me, food is as much about the moment, the occasion, the location and the company as it is about the taste. —Heston Blumenthal
What’s been nourishing me this week…
I like watching documentaries and enjoyed The Girl in the Picture on Netflix. Plot twists galore.
The audiobook version The House of Mirth.
Thirty minute evening walks, the closer to sunset the better.
This was the loveliest night! So much food, friendship and laughter. Definitely needs to be an annual (or semi-annual!) tradition.